Penn Wood Airstream Park – Limestone, PA

I am trying to relax. It isn’t working.

Maybe it’s the “trying” part that’s messing up the entire equation. The geek in me brings out the flash card bearing Yoda’s adage “do or do not, there is no try,” then the analytical part of me replies “relaxing implies no ‘doing’ at all, so sit down and be still already. Criminy, are you trying to give us a heart attack?!” I’m getting nowhere with it all.

We’ve been here at Penn Wood for nearly four whole days, having made it to our Wednesday evening gig here with an hour to spare, just enough time to unpack, change and perform dangerously stupid skills on a few hours’ sleep. The crowd loved us, we loved them back and everyone had a wonderful evening.

Now, four days later, I’ve honestly tried to relax. We took in the Autumn Leaf Festival parade yesterday, complete with a half an hour of Shriners astride various motorized objects. We ate sparingly of the carnival food (the deep fred Oreos need to be patented and sold on pharmacy shelves next to the Midol). We did some Christmas shopping, finding a few gems just perfect for their intended recipients. I even found (and purchased for a staggeringly low price) a vintage Singer sewing machine, since identified as a Model 128, converted from hand crank to motor power. We watched some very gifted entertainers here at the Park and have shared a number of excellent conversations with the residents and other friends we’ve just made. We went to look at the antique tractor show today, with Alex acting as inside lecturer for my benefit, rode some rides and sampled the local pizza, which was amazing.

Now I’m just a total bundle of nerves. It’s a nebulous tension, neither directed at or caused by anything or anyone at hand nor any particular thought or concern. It’s a bit tiresome to say the least. The writing is helping a great deal, though, and the above list of what I’ve actually accomplished is helping put things into perspective.

I think I can narrow it down to feeling a bit directionless at present, though that’s not entirely true either. We’ve been doing work on our route for next year and I’ve been sewing on costuming so I can honestly say there’s been a modicum of work accomplished. Again, the writing helps.

On the agenda for this evening is a meal complete with a cheese course (I just typed “curse” there by mistake, but it is October, after all … ) and all my ingredients are at hand. We did land an additional show in November and will still make it home for Thanksgiving. I will be finishing a corsetlet for an amazingly hot and hardworking lady in DC in time for her debut stage performance as a variety act. All really is right with the world.

Now here’s the payoff. I feel so much better for having written what is here and for the reminder it has provided of how full these last few days have been with refreshing, refueling and necessary activity. Nothing is going to fall apart if I take a moment and listen to a podcast or two, and I’m really looking forward to preparing dinner. Right now, in this moment, this is all the direction I need. Right now, in this moment, I am relaxing.

It’s about time.

@19:12 Edit: Bob Blumer’s recipe for Nutcases is unbelievable. Look at our right sidebar for a link to buy the book that contains the recipe. Feed them to someone you love and watch them melt.

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